My heart is paralyzed
My head was oversized
I’ll take the high road like I should!
You said it’s meant to be,
That it’s not you, it’s me
You’re leaving now for my own good,
That’s cool, but if my friends ask where you are
I’m gonna say

She went down in an airplane
Fried getting sun-tanned
Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand
Help me, help me, I’m no good at goodbyes!
She met a shark on the water
Fell and no one caught her
I returned everything I ever bought her
Help me, help me, I’m all out of lies
And ways to say you died!

My pride still feels the sting
You were my everything
Someday I’ll find a love like yours (a love like yours)
She’ll think I’m super man
Not super minivan
How could you leave on Yom Kippur
That’s cool, but if my friends ask where you are
I’m gonna say:

She was caught in a mudslide
Eaten by a lion
Got run over by a crappy purple scion
Help me, help me, I’m no good at goodbyes
She dried up in the desert,
Drowned in a hot tub.
Danced to death in a east side nightclub
Help me, help me, I’m all out of lies
And ways to say you died!

I wanna live a thousand lives with you
I wanna be the one you’re dying to love
But you don’t want to
That’s cool, but if my friends ask where you are
I’m gonna say
That’s cool, but if my friends ask where you are
I’m gonna say

She went down in an airplane
Fried getting sun-tanned
Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand
Help me, help me, I’m no good at goodbyes!
She met a shark on the water
Fell and no one caught her
I returned everything I ever bought her
Help me, help me, I’m all out of lies

She was caught in a mudslide
Eaten by a lion
Got run over by a crappy purple scion
Help me, help me, I’m no good at goodbyes
She dried up in the desert,
Drowned in a hot tub,
Danced to death in an east side nightclub
Help me, help me, I’m all out of lies
And ways to say you died!