The Three Trials

I will not trust you till you prove your strength and loyalty to me,
This be a hard crew, but there's space below if you pass these trials three
This aint a game boy! I swear to God, you’ll chuck your guts with blood
The first concerns your facial hair, to shave is sacrilege
Maintain your mighty chin imperial,
It’ll keep you warm in icy winds

I’ll show you the face of spite
If you show me your hell invite
Guts, brains, maturity
Will see you through these trials three
Let the trials begin
Mark this your final warning
Let the trials begin

The second will be fun
If you like your slutbags old
Mcguyver there’s a dockside whore
Despite the fact she’s bald.
Just prize that last remaining tooth out of her rotten maw
Best do it while she’s sleeping
Get your moneys worth of whore

The third will be your death
To gamble on the dice you ante your final living breath
The demon’s dice will be the tools with which we’ll see it done
To lose the dice you loose your life so think about it son
...Roll, roll, roll the dice!
I will not trust you till you prove your strength and loyalty to me,
This be a hard crew, but there’s space below if you pass these trials three
And did he pass the test? Hell no, the bastard lost.
He made his beard of shaven hair from the hind legs of a dog