Hollywood Pirate

Way oh, heave ho, way oh heave ho
Way oh, heave ho, way oh heave ho
I want to be a Hollywood Pirate

I want a ship that's just a set;
I want a gun that fires blank rounds
And I want it all mixed down in THX surround sound

A stunt double that swings from mast to mast,
And falls a hundred feet without a scratch
Then the camera slowly pans to a close-up of me (standing heroically)

Chorus:
I want to be a Hollywood Pirate, see my face on the big screen
I want to be a Hollywood Pirate, live my life vicariously
I want to be a Hollywood Pirate, go to work and have some fun
I want to be a Hollywood Pirate; I want to be a Hollywood Pirate

Way oh, heave ho, way oh heave ho
Way oh, heave ho, way oh heave ho

I want to spend weeks training for a choreographed fight,
Wear authentic clothes and wig just right
To make myself look more menacing up on the screen
Join the ranks of Johnny Depp and Errol Flynn
The guy that played Sinbad and Dustin Hoffman

Dustin Hoffman, what pirate movie did he play in?
You remember, he played Captain Hook in that Peter Pan movie
Oh yea!

Chorus

I want a bad guy to beat during the show
How about that bad guy Russell Crow
And oh, I want the prettiest girl on screen, who shall it be
Salma Hayek will have to do
For my romantic interlude
With our chemistry mixed in we'll win, up on the screen at the drive in

Chorus

I want to join the cast in mutiny
Except box office scrutiny
I want a parrot on my shoulder and a hook for a hand and sail away with Gina Davis to Cutthroat Island

Chorus

I want to be a Hollywood Pirate, big summer movie and an all star cast
I want to be a Hollywood Pirate, Academy awards can kiss my… (booty)
I want to be a Hollywood Pirate, that men all fear and women love
I want to be a Hollywood Pirate
I want to be a Hollywood Pirate
I want to be a Hollywood Pirate