Captain Curse

I've been around the world on a ship that's made of wood
I seen my share of battles, and men both bad and good
Murderers, thieves, ravenous rogues and men who were far worse
By far the most offensive was the man named Captain Curse

With a monkey at his shoulder by the name of Scurvy Pete
The captain had one wooden leg but somehow had two feet
He wore a patch over an eye lost to a musket ball
With his hat and coat and slimy looks he stood just four feet tall

His teeth were yellowed from scurvy, and some were falling out
His skin was thick and leathered; he had a case of gout
He wore a brace of pistols, and so did Scurvy Pete
Captain curse was the most fearsome fellow you'd ever chance to meet!

He once met a whore by the name of Lucy Blow
He paid her in corn liquor, and she put on a show
It started with a dance and you think you know the rest
But it ended rather quick, with Scurvy Pete inside her dress!

In battle on the fifth of may, ole curse was quite a sight
He bellowed orders to the crew to get into the fight
When the gunner said he was out of shot, you know what ole Curse said?
"Load the guns with rats, me lads, and paint their vessel red!"