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Words of Wisdom

Blink 182

Tom: I'm going to come back and I'm going to start a therapeutic massage center only for for...
Mark: I'm going to start my own nudist colony
Tom: That would be grose, you tried that in our bus one time
Mark: I tried to start our own nudist colony in our bus and it was pretty much just me hanging out naked, they love you Tom
Tom: They love me so fuck everybody else
Mark: Yea fuck all you guys out there that are cheering, yea we hate you Tom you suck dick burn in hell
Tom: Yea fuck that, hey I say I say fuck the hating Tom thing that's what I say, are we ready Mark
Mark: You know what it is you know what it is a lot of these people are just now hopping on the we hate Tom bandwagon, like I've been hating tom since like 1995 I'm old school hating Tom guy alright
Tom: Oh shit, hey let's all say some dirty words, everybody say fuck, everybody say shit, everyone say dick, everyone say Mark's an ass hole
Mark: Everyone say, everyone say we hate Mark, yea
Tom: Hey now let's do this one, everyone say fuck fuck shit fuck, that's the kind of words you should be using at home kids
Mark: That's right
Tom: What do we do now
Mark: I want everyone to call me an ass hole again
Tom: What's up I like your hair it's very nice
Mark: You like his hair oh cool thanks he probably appreciates that a lot
Tom: I wanted to say I liked your but but I thought that was to foward you know
Mark: Hey this next song is for all the ladies in the hezouse, hea he it's for all the ladies in the heoueoueouze
Tom: Mark!
Mark: What
Tom: Shut the fuck up
Mark: It's for all the ladies in the houaeiouze, weee. Hey you know what hang on I want to make this like a
Tom: (belch) exuse me
Mark: Exuse Tom
Tom: Sorry
Mark: I want to make this like a big golf tournimant everyone shut up everybody just clap like it's a golf tourniment
Tom: That's what it sounds like when I get done having sex, 15,000 people cheering me on, I could take all of you in my bed right fucking now, but you're not invited Mark. You have got giant boobs and I doubt you're 18, do you have a note from your mom, I want to meet your mom...
Mark: Hey put those 13 year old boobs away, if I wanted to see 13 year old boobs I'd hang out by the Junior high like my dad like my dad does
Tom: Hey you know what I learned in fifth grade
Mark: What's that your dad has a bent weiner
Tom: My dad's weiner was bigger than mine then and still is
Mark: I want everyone here to scream, fuck you Tom,we fucking hate you you're going to burn in hell and die a horrible firery death cause' we hate you stupid pieces of shit
Tom: I heard that
Mark: Thanks
Tom: You want to give me your shirt, this smells like blood and feces, dinner time ok what does this say here
Mark: It smells like blood and feces, so it's your dad's shirt
Tom: Hey uh just like every other band we believe in a safe form of sex don't we Mark, that we do so Mark's going to tell you about how safe we are
Mark: Let me tell you about the safest form of sex, it's when you get super drunk and you have sex with like ten people totally unprotected and you do intravenous drugs at the same time, no it's not true
Tom: It's not true you have to carry a weapon. How many of you guys have girlfreinds and how many of your girlfriends have guy friends, I hope you're not having sex
Mark: And more importanly how many of your girlfriends have girlfriends
Tom: Cause' we believe in the love that exists between two vaginas
Mark: The most special kind of love of all is the love that exists between two naked women while I watch
Tom: We need her to put her shirt back on
Mark: Please
Tom: It just took away my boner, my boner just died, I had one and now it's gone
Mark: Please I saw your boobs and my wiener ran away. Hey hey hang on everyone everyone seriously I need your attention for just a second please, I think somebody lost a contact down here so everyone look around a contact lense hey someone lost a contact lense so uh...
Tom: I lost my virinity
Mark: Keep an I out for it
Tom: I lost a testacle, hey what if testacles were things you could lose on a everyday basis that would suck, you've only got three, hey I've got to go pee pee
Mark: Do you want to go pee and I'll talk to the kids for a second
Tom: Do you think you can talk for enough time
Mark: No uh uh
Tom: Why don't you gather your thoughts
Mark: Why don't you just wet your pants and we'll call it even
Tom: Should I just piss in my pants right here, if you guys all pitch in a dollar each I'll piss my pants right here now, that should pay me about two-hundred bucks maybe
Mark: I'll give you three-hundred dollars to piss your pants right now
Tom: I'll give you four-hundred bucks to eat my shit
Mark: Sold
Tom: Sold, apparently there's a kid that's hurt right now and I think they're helping them out right now, it looks like they're right there
Mark: Make a hole people make a hole
Tom: All you people over there make way for the hurt kid and bring me their wallet
Mark: I wish now you know let me tell you guys something...
Tom: I'm gay!
Mark: There's thousands and thousands of people here today there's like semis and fucking buses and multiple bands and all kinds of shit, I wish now I would have taken bass lessons, sorry sorry
Tom: So do I, I wish you did too
Mark: I'm thinking for Christmas this year I'm going to ask for lessons
Tom: I know a guy, he has sex with his sister, he used his dick to pop her four foot blister, and I know it's not that cool, he fucked her in my swimming pool, he's got three testacles, and he loves to do shit, fuck yea. Hey how come every time we say a joke it has to be about fucking sex masturbation insest, or anything grose like that you know
Mark: Is there anything else in the world
Tom: There's nothing else to talk about
Mark: Hey can you help that little girl out of there she's not having so much fun right now, hey
Tom: Uh exuse me, security guard sir
Mark: The one right in front of you, yea
Tom: Yea that girl right there needs to come out, if you're a small person the front is not the best view, and if you hate seeing shitty bands any of this is not a good view, this whole everything every seat here. Mark's middle name is Rebecca, they thought he was a...
Mark: That's right, my middle names Rebecca because my dad wanted a girl, he treats me like one
Tom: I still have to go pee and I'm holding it in still, I'll piss my pants though for money, I'll eat a nugget of my own poop for twenty bucks, I'll pay you twenty bucks and I'll eat it
Mark: You shave your ass
Tom: You have hair on nothing but your balls, Mark has no hair on his whole body but a fucking wolverine growning in his pants, I swear to God, it's got teeth and shit
Mark: It's true
Tom: He's got a scary looking penis
Mark: It's true I need your tax deductable donations for the shave Mark's balls program, please
Tom: It's for charity kids
Mark: Please send what you can, donate your time
Tom: You guys think that we're touring for our own, no this is a charity tour for Mark's balls
Mark: We're trying to raise enough money to shave my nuts, please give generously
Tom: There's no metal strong enough to be the teeth on any kind of electric shaver, what do we do now, oh I need a new guitar
Mark: We need a new guitar, we need a new guitarist, any one out there play guitar
Tom: Does anybody know how to play guitar cause' I'm not very good, people don't really respect me
Mark: If I were a girl, every time I went to the gynecologist, I'd fake an orgasm
Tom: Bad kids
Mark: Bad christmas spirit
Tom: Bad christmas spirit
Mark: Hey ok I need light now
Tom: We're going to point out every single person that didn't sing
Mark: Santa Claus is going to come to your house and shit under all your trees
Tom: Santa Claus is going to come rape your dogs, Oh God you know what I'm kind of ashamed of being myself today, and yesterday and the day before that, not really pround of who I am or how I look. Any one have one of those days were you don't even really like what you're wearing, you know, you don't like how your hair looks, and kind of bumed about how your penis is so small and bent and wierd. That is the ugliest but I have ever seen. Let's hear it for not wiping! And this guy fuck wiping dude, brings down the rain forest. Ok this is a song I wrote...
Mark: That guy has a science fair project up his ass
Tom: Uh what head's up seven up, everyone close your eyes and if I come by and if I come by and put my finger in you but than you're the one.
I think that Satan has a couple of comments:
Well kids it's been a really fun show, and I want you all to know that we'll come back soon, but before I go I want to say I think Tom is extemely good looking and all the girls out there should think he's good looking. Tom has one of the best butts that I've ever seen, shimi shimi coco puff shimi shimi right shimi shimi coco puff. Does anybody here want to sleep with me. I'm really a nice guy, it's really not Satan...
It's me it's not Satan let's all be happy he's not here say fuck Satan

Alright I'm out of jokes and out of songs, I think we're done.

138 reproducciones
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  1. All The Small Things
  2. I Miss You
  3. Up All Night
  4. What's My Age Again?
  5. Adam's Song
  6. Always
  7. Dammit
  8. After Midnight
  9. The Rock Show
  10. Stay Together For The Kids
  11. Down
  12. Feeling This
  13. First Date
  14. Violence
  15. Shit Piss Fuck Cunt Cocksucker Motherfucker Tits
  16. Going Away To College
  17. What's My Age Again ?
  18. Rock Show
  19. Stockholm Syndrome
  20. Not Now
  21. I'm Lost Without You
  22. When You Fucked Grandpa
  23. Skylee's With Me (Unreleased)
  24. Ghost On The Dance Floor
  25. Even If She Falls
  26. Disaster
  27. Dogs Eating Dogs
  28. Pretty Little Girl
  29. Pathetic
  30. Voyeur
  31. Boring
  32. Dick Lips
  33. Waggy
  34. Enthused
  35. Untitled
  36. Apple Shampoo
  37. Emo
  38. Josie
  39. A New Hope
  40. Degenerate
  41. Lemmings
  42. I'm Sorry
  43. Carousel
  44. Fentoozler
  45. Touchdown Boy
  46. Strings
  47. Peggy Sue
  48. Sometimes
  49. Does My Breath Smell?
  50. Cacophony
  51. TV
  52. Wasting Time
  53. Ben Wah Balls
  54. Just About Done
  55. Depends
  56. Dumpweed
  57. Don't Leave Me
  58. Aliens Exist
  59. Dysentery Gary
  60. The Party Song
  61. Mutt
  62. Wendy Clear
  63. Anthem
  64. I Won't Be Home For Christmas
  65. Wrecked Him
  66. Zulu
  67. Time
  68. Man Overboard
  69. Don't
  70. The Girl Next Door
  71. Toast & Bananas
  72. Reebok Commercial
  73. My Pet Sally
  74. Point Of View
  75. Romeo & Rebecca
  76. Family Reunion
  1. Blow Job
  2. Transvestite
  3. The Family Next Door
  4. Seasons In The Sun
  5. 13 Miles
  6. Please Take Me Home
  7. Happy Holidays
  8. Story Of A Lonely Guy
  9. Roller Coaster
  10. Reckless Abandon
  11. Everytime I Look For You
  12. Give Me One Good Reason
  13. Time To Break Up
  14. Anthem Part 2
  15. Online Songs
  16. Happy Holidays, You Bastard
  17. Mother's Day
  18. Imbred Blister Popper
  19. Pants Cd Hidden Track (14)
  20. Fuck A Dog
  21. Hidden Track 14 (Orange Pants-Cd)
  22. Hidden Track 15 (Orange Pants-Cd)
  23. Hidden Track 14
  24. Hidden Track 15 (Jacket)
  25. Hidden Track (Australaisian Version)
  26. Don't Tell Me That It's Over
  27. Hold On (Hidden, Green)
  28. Grandpa (Hidden, Green)
  29. What Went Wrong?
  30. Dancing With Myself
  31. The Longest Line
  32. High Road
  33. The Country Song
  34. My Boyfriend
  35. Take Off Your Pants And Jacket (Live)
  36. 21 Days
  37. Why
  38. One Hit Wonder
  39. People, People, People
  40. One Hit Wonder + Dammit (Live From La)
  41. Freak Scene
  42. M&M's
  43. Phantom Of The Opera
  44. Go
  45. Obvious
  46. Easy Target
  47. All Of This
  48. Asthenia
  49. Here's Your Letter
  50. Carousel (Live At Sydney 2000)
  51. Don't Take The High Road
  52. Dream Come True
  53. Green Hemroids
  54. Hoe
  55. One Hit Wonder + Dammit
  56. Pants Cd Hidden Track
  57. Take Off Your Pants And Jacket
  58. Take Off Your Pants And Jacket, Yellow Version, Hi
  59. Twenty Three
  60. Watch Your Back
  61. What's My Cult Again
  62. Good Times
  63. Hey Leonard
  64. M+M's
  65. Alone
  66. I'm Hot Tonight
  67. Mark's Poem
  68. Marlboro Man
  69. Passion Flounder
  70. Red Skies
  71. My Heart Will Go On (with Sum 41)
  72. Hope
  73. Yes, I'm Your Angel (John Lennon cover)
  74. Dragon Attack
  75. Dreaming
  76. Jesse (Australian Record)
  1. A Letter To Elise
  2. Words of Wisdom
  3. Another Girl Another Planet
  4. The Grandpa Song
  5. The New Punk Rock
  6. M+M's
  7. She Likes Me For Me
  8. Jenny 867-5309
  9. The Fallen Interlude
  10. Hit Me Baby One More Time
  11. Leaving On a Jet Plane
  12. T.V.
  13. Guy On The Playground
  14. Hanging out behind the skool for the weekend
  15. Internal Prodigy
  16. Kids Of The Black Hole
  17. Penis In A Bottle (Parody, Live In Concert)
  18. The Hokey Pokey
  19. There Is
  20. I Know a Guy
  21. Letters To God
  22. Shut Up
  23. Please Tell Me Why
  24. Hidden Track #03
  25. Niggers
  26. You Fucked Up My Life
  27. Angelica & Me
  28. Story Of a Girl
  29. There Was a Time
  30. Guess
  31. Try To Tell Me
  32. Better
  33. Anymore
  34. Away
  35. I And You
  36. Mutt
  37. All The Young Dudes
  38. I Walk the Line
  39. Until the Stars Fall Out the Sky
  40. Until the Stars Fall Out the Sky
  41. So Sorry, It's Over
  42. My Boyfriend's Back
  43. Go On
  44. What´s My Age Again?
  45. M&M's
  46. M-Ms
  47. I Want To Fuck A Dog In The Ass
  48. Lost And Alone
  49. Action
  50. Strung Out
  51. My Heart Will Go On And On
  52. Heart's All Gone
  53. Snake Charmer
  54. Kaleidoscope
  55. This Is Home
  56. Natives
  57. Wishing Well
  58. Love Is Dangerous
  59. Whising Well
  60. Fighting The Gravity
  61. Mh 4.18.2011
  62. Nativos
  63. Deadman's Curve
  64. Toast And Bananas
  65. M&M's
  66. In Transit
  67. I'm Gay
  68. I Miss Her So
  69. Love Shack
  70. Boxing Day
  71. When I Was Young
  72. Last Words From Satan
  73. My Boner Just Died
  74. Princess Leia
  75. Party Song
  76. A Note From Your Mom
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