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Words of Wisdom

Blink 182

Tom: I'm going to come back and I'm going to start a therapeutic massage center only for for...
Mark: I'm going to start my own nudist colony
Tom: That would be grose, you tried that in our bus one time
Mark: I tried to start our own nudist colony in our bus and it was pretty much just me hanging out naked, they love you Tom
Tom: They love me so fuck everybody else
Mark: Yea fuck all you guys out there that are cheering, yea we hate you Tom you suck dick burn in hell
Tom: Yea fuck that, hey I say I say fuck the hating Tom thing that's what I say, are we ready Mark
Mark: You know what it is you know what it is a lot of these people are just now hopping on the we hate Tom bandwagon, like I've been hating tom since like 1995 I'm old school hating Tom guy alright
Tom: Oh shit, hey let's all say some dirty words, everybody say fuck, everybody say shit, everyone say dick, everyone say Mark's an ass hole
Mark: Everyone say, everyone say we hate Mark, yea
Tom: Hey now let's do this one, everyone say fuck fuck shit fuck, that's the kind of words you should be using at home kids
Mark: That's right
Tom: What do we do now
Mark: I want everyone to call me an ass hole again
Tom: What's up I like your hair it's very nice
Mark: You like his hair oh cool thanks he probably appreciates that a lot
Tom: I wanted to say I liked your but but I thought that was to foward you know
Mark: Hey this next song is for all the ladies in the hezouse, hea he it's for all the ladies in the heoueoueouze
Tom: Mark!
Mark: What
Tom: Shut the fuck up
Mark: It's for all the ladies in the houaeiouze, weee. Hey you know what hang on I want to make this like a
Tom: (belch) exuse me
Mark: Exuse Tom
Tom: Sorry
Mark: I want to make this like a big golf tournimant everyone shut up everybody just clap like it's a golf tourniment
Tom: That's what it sounds like when I get done having sex, 15,000 people cheering me on, I could take all of you in my bed right fucking now, but you're not invited Mark. You have got giant boobs and I doubt you're 18, do you have a note from your mom, I want to meet your mom...
Mark: Hey put those 13 year old boobs away, if I wanted to see 13 year old boobs I'd hang out by the Junior high like my dad like my dad does
Tom: Hey you know what I learned in fifth grade
Mark: What's that your dad has a bent weiner
Tom: My dad's weiner was bigger than mine then and still is
Mark: I want everyone here to scream, fuck you Tom,we fucking hate you you're going to burn in hell and die a horrible firery death cause' we hate you stupid pieces of shit
Tom: I heard that
Mark: Thanks
Tom: You want to give me your shirt, this smells like blood and feces, dinner time ok what does this say here
Mark: It smells like blood and feces, so it's your dad's shirt
Tom: Hey uh just like every other band we believe in a safe form of sex don't we Mark, that we do so Mark's going to tell you about how safe we are
Mark: Let me tell you about the safest form of sex, it's when you get super drunk and you have sex with like ten people totally unprotected and you do intravenous drugs at the same time, no it's not true
Tom: It's not true you have to carry a weapon. How many of you guys have girlfreinds and how many of your girlfriends have guy friends, I hope you're not having sex
Mark: And more importanly how many of your girlfriends have girlfriends
Tom: Cause' we believe in the love that exists between two vaginas
Mark: The most special kind of love of all is the love that exists between two naked women while I watch
Tom: We need her to put her shirt back on
Mark: Please
Tom: It just took away my boner, my boner just died, I had one and now it's gone
Mark: Please I saw your boobs and my wiener ran away. Hey hey hang on everyone everyone seriously I need your attention for just a second please, I think somebody lost a contact down here so everyone look around a contact lense hey someone lost a contact lense so uh...
Tom: I lost my virinity
Mark: Keep an I out for it
Tom: I lost a testacle, hey what if testacles were things you could lose on a everyday basis that would suck, you've only got three, hey I've got to go pee pee
Mark: Do you want to go pee and I'll talk to the kids for a second
Tom: Do you think you can talk for enough time
Mark: No uh uh
Tom: Why don't you gather your thoughts
Mark: Why don't you just wet your pants and we'll call it even
Tom: Should I just piss in my pants right here, if you guys all pitch in a dollar each I'll piss my pants right here now, that should pay me about two-hundred bucks maybe
Mark: I'll give you three-hundred dollars to piss your pants right now
Tom: I'll give you four-hundred bucks to eat my shit
Mark: Sold
Tom: Sold, apparently there's a kid that's hurt right now and I think they're helping them out right now, it looks like they're right there
Mark: Make a hole people make a hole
Tom: All you people over there make way for the hurt kid and bring me their wallet
Mark: I wish now you know let me tell you guys something...
Tom: I'm gay!
Mark: There's thousands and thousands of people here today there's like semis and fucking buses and multiple bands and all kinds of shit, I wish now I would have taken bass lessons, sorry sorry
Tom: So do I, I wish you did too
Mark: I'm thinking for Christmas this year I'm going to ask for lessons
Tom: I know a guy, he has sex with his sister, he used his dick to pop her four foot blister, and I know it's not that cool, he fucked her in my swimming pool, he's got three testacles, and he loves to do shit, fuck yea. Hey how come every time we say a joke it has to be about fucking sex masturbation insest, or anything grose like that you know
Mark: Is there anything else in the world
Tom: There's nothing else to talk about
Mark: Hey can you help that little girl out of there she's not having so much fun right now, hey
Tom: Uh exuse me, security guard sir
Mark: The one right in front of you, yea
Tom: Yea that girl right there needs to come out, if you're a small person the front is not the best view, and if you hate seeing shitty bands any of this is not a good view, this whole everything every seat here. Mark's middle name is Rebecca, they thought he was a...
Mark: That's right, my middle names Rebecca because my dad wanted a girl, he treats me like one
Tom: I still have to go pee and I'm holding it in still, I'll piss my pants though for money, I'll eat a nugget of my own poop for twenty bucks, I'll pay you twenty bucks and I'll eat it
Mark: You shave your ass
Tom: You have hair on nothing but your balls, Mark has no hair on his whole body but a fucking wolverine growning in his pants, I swear to God, it's got teeth and shit
Mark: It's true
Tom: He's got a scary looking penis
Mark: It's true I need your tax deductable donations for the shave Mark's balls program, please
Tom: It's for charity kids
Mark: Please send what you can, donate your time
Tom: You guys think that we're touring for our own, no this is a charity tour for Mark's balls
Mark: We're trying to raise enough money to shave my nuts, please give generously
Tom: There's no metal strong enough to be the teeth on any kind of electric shaver, what do we do now, oh I need a new guitar
Mark: We need a new guitar, we need a new guitarist, any one out there play guitar
Tom: Does anybody know how to play guitar cause' I'm not very good, people don't really respect me
Mark: If I were a girl, every time I went to the gynecologist, I'd fake an orgasm
Tom: Bad kids
Mark: Bad christmas spirit
Tom: Bad christmas spirit
Mark: Hey ok I need light now
Tom: We're going to point out every single person that didn't sing
Mark: Santa Claus is going to come to your house and shit under all your trees
Tom: Santa Claus is going to come rape your dogs, Oh God you know what I'm kind of ashamed of being myself today, and yesterday and the day before that, not really pround of who I am or how I look. Any one have one of those days were you don't even really like what you're wearing, you know, you don't like how your hair looks, and kind of bumed about how your penis is so small and bent and wierd. That is the ugliest but I have ever seen. Let's hear it for not wiping! And this guy fuck wiping dude, brings down the rain forest. Ok this is a song I wrote...
Mark: That guy has a science fair project up his ass
Tom: Uh what head's up seven up, everyone close your eyes and if I come by and if I come by and put my finger in you but than you're the one.
I think that Satan has a couple of comments:
Well kids it's been a really fun show, and I want you all to know that we'll come back soon, but before I go I want to say I think Tom is extemely good looking and all the girls out there should think he's good looking. Tom has one of the best butts that I've ever seen, shimi shimi coco puff shimi shimi right shimi shimi coco puff. Does anybody here want to sleep with me. I'm really a nice guy, it's really not Satan...
It's me it's not Satan let's all be happy he's not here say fuck Satan

Alright I'm out of jokes and out of songs, I think we're done.

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  1. I Miss You
  2. All The Small Things
  3. First Date
  4. Always
  5. What's My Age Again?
  6. The Rock Show
  7. Adam's Song
  8. The Party Song
  9. Man Overboard
  10. Stay Together For The Kids
  11. Feeling This
  12. Dammit
  13. Aliens Exist
  14. Going Away To College
  15. Dysentery Gary
  16. Dancing With Myself
  17. Violence
  18. When You Fucked Grandpa
  19. Words of Wisdom
  20. Shit Piss Fuck Cunt Cocksucker Motherfucker Tits
  21. Story Of a Girl
  22. Up All Night
  23. Heart's All Gone
  24. Wishing Well
  25. Love Is Dangerous
  26. Boxing Day
  27. Pathetic
  28. Voyeur
  29. Boring
  30. Dick Lips
  31. Waggy
  32. Enthused
  33. Untitled
  34. Apple Shampoo
  35. Emo
  36. Josie
  37. A New Hope
  38. Degenerate
  39. Lemmings
  40. I'm Sorry
  41. Carousel
  42. Fentoozler
  43. Touchdown Boy
  44. Strings
  45. Peggy Sue
  46. Sometimes
  47. Does My Breath Smell?
  48. Cacophony
  49. TV
  50. Wasting Time
  51. Ben Wah Balls
  52. Just About Done
  53. Depends
  54. Dumpweed
  55. Don't Leave Me
  56. Mutt
  57. Wendy Clear
  58. Anthem
  59. I Won't Be Home For Christmas
  60. Wrecked Him
  61. Zulu
  62. Time
  63. Don't
  64. The Girl Next Door
  65. Toast & Bananas
  66. Reebok Commercial
  67. My Pet Sally
  68. Point Of View
  69. Romeo & Rebecca
  70. Family Reunion
  71. Blow Job
  72. Transvestite
  73. The Family Next Door
  74. Seasons In The Sun
  75. 13 Miles
  76. Please Take Me Home
  1. Happy Holidays
  2. Story Of A Lonely Guy
  3. Roller Coaster
  4. Reckless Abandon
  5. Everytime I Look For You
  6. Give Me One Good Reason
  7. Time To Break Up
  8. Anthem Part 2
  9. Online Songs
  10. Happy Holidays, You Bastard
  11. Mother's Day
  12. Imbred Blister Popper
  13. Pants Cd Hidden Track (14)
  14. Fuck A Dog
  15. Hidden Track 14 (Orange Pants-Cd)
  16. Hidden Track 15 (Orange Pants-Cd)
  17. Hidden Track 14
  18. Hidden Track 15 (Jacket)
  19. Hidden Track (Australaisian Version)
  20. Don't Tell Me That It's Over
  21. Hold On (Hidden, Green)
  22. Grandpa (Hidden, Green)
  23. What Went Wrong?
  24. What's My Age Again ?
  25. The Longest Line
  26. High Road
  27. Rock Show
  28. The Country Song
  29. My Boyfriend
  30. Take Off Your Pants And Jacket (Live)
  31. 21 Days
  32. Why
  33. One Hit Wonder
  34. People, People, People
  35. One Hit Wonder + Dammit (Live From La)
  36. Freak Scene
  37. M&M's
  38. Phantom Of The Opera
  39. Go
  40. Obvious
  41. Stockholm Syndrome
  42. Easy Target
  43. All Of This
  44. Not Now
  45. Asthenia
  46. Here's Your Letter
  47. I'm Lost Without You
  48. Carousel (Live At Sydney 2000)
  49. Don't Take The High Road
  50. Dream Come True
  51. Green Hemroids
  52. Hoe
  53. One Hit Wonder + Dammit
  54. Pants Cd Hidden Track
  55. Take Off Your Pants And Jacket
  56. Take Off Your Pants And Jacket, Yellow Version, Hi
  57. Twenty Three
  58. Watch Your Back
  59. What's My Cult Again
  60. Good Times
  61. Hey Leonard
  62. M+M's
  63. Down
  64. Alone
  65. I'm Hot Tonight
  66. Mark's Poem
  67. Marlboro Man
  68. Passion Flounder
  69. Red Skies
  70. My Heart Will Go On (with Sum 41)
  71. Hope
  72. Yes, I'm Your Angel (John Lennon cover)
  73. Dragon Attack
  74. Dreaming
  75. Jesse (Australian Record)
  76. A Letter To Elise
  1. Another Girl Another Planet
  2. The Grandpa Song
  3. The New Punk Rock
  4. M+M's
  5. She Likes Me For Me
  6. Jenny 867-5309
  7. The Fallen Interlude
  8. Hit Me Baby One More Time
  9. Leaving On a Jet Plane
  10. T.V.
  11. Guy On The Playground
  12. Hanging out behind the skool for the weekend
  13. Internal Prodigy
  14. Kids Of The Black Hole
  15. Penis In A Bottle (Parody, Live In Concert)
  16. Skylee's With Me (Unreleased)
  17. The Hokey Pokey
  18. There Is
  19. I Know a Guy
  20. Letters To God
  21. Shut Up
  22. Please Tell Me Why
  23. Hidden Track #03
  24. Niggers
  25. You Fucked Up My Life
  26. Angelica & Me
  27. There Was a Time
  28. Guess
  29. Try To Tell Me
  30. Better
  31. Anymore
  32. Away
  33. I And You
  34. Mutt
  35. All The Young Dudes
  36. I Walk the Line
  37. Until the Stars Fall Out the Sky
  38. Until the Stars Fall Out the Sky
  39. So Sorry, It's Over
  40. My Boyfriend's Back
  41. Go On
  42. What´s My Age Again?
  43. M&M's
  44. M-Ms
  45. I Want To Fuck A Dog In The Ass
  46. Lost And Alone
  47. Action
  48. Strung Out
  49. My Heart Will Go On And On
  50. After Midnight
  51. Ghost On The Dance Floor
  52. Snake Charmer
  53. Kaleidoscope
  54. This Is Home
  55. Natives
  56. Even If She Falls
  57. Whising Well
  58. Fighting The Gravity
  59. Mh 4.18.2011
  60. Nativos
  61. Deadman's Curve
  62. Toast And Bananas
  63. M&M's
  64. In Transit
  65. I'm Gay
  66. I Miss Her So
  67. Love Shack
  68. Disaster
  69. When I Was Young
  70. Dogs Eating Dogs
  71. Pretty Little Girl
  72. Last Words From Satan
  73. My Boner Just Died
  74. Princess Leia
  75. Party Song
  76. A Note From Your Mom
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