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Words of Wisdom

Blink 182

Tom: I'm going to come back and I'm going to start a therapeutic massage center only for for...
Mark: I'm going to start my own nudist colony
Tom: That would be grose, you tried that in our bus one time
Mark: I tried to start our own nudist colony in our bus and it was pretty much just me hanging out naked, they love you Tom
Tom: They love me so fuck everybody else
Mark: Yea fuck all you guys out there that are cheering, yea we hate you Tom you suck dick burn in hell
Tom: Yea fuck that, hey I say I say fuck the hating Tom thing that's what I say, are we ready Mark
Mark: You know what it is you know what it is a lot of these people are just now hopping on the we hate Tom bandwagon, like I've been hating tom since like 1995 I'm old school hating Tom guy alright
Tom: Oh shit, hey let's all say some dirty words, everybody say fuck, everybody say shit, everyone say dick, everyone say Mark's an ass hole
Mark: Everyone say, everyone say we hate Mark, yea
Tom: Hey now let's do this one, everyone say fuck fuck shit fuck, that's the kind of words you should be using at home kids
Mark: That's right
Tom: What do we do now
Mark: I want everyone to call me an ass hole again
Tom: What's up I like your hair it's very nice
Mark: You like his hair oh cool thanks he probably appreciates that a lot
Tom: I wanted to say I liked your but but I thought that was to foward you know
Mark: Hey this next song is for all the ladies in the hezouse, hea he it's for all the ladies in the heoueoueouze
Tom: Mark!
Mark: What
Tom: Shut the fuck up
Mark: It's for all the ladies in the houaeiouze, weee. Hey you know what hang on I want to make this like a
Tom: (belch) exuse me
Mark: Exuse Tom
Tom: Sorry
Mark: I want to make this like a big golf tournimant everyone shut up everybody just clap like it's a golf tourniment
Tom: That's what it sounds like when I get done having sex, 15,000 people cheering me on, I could take all of you in my bed right fucking now, but you're not invited Mark. You have got giant boobs and I doubt you're 18, do you have a note from your mom, I want to meet your mom...
Mark: Hey put those 13 year old boobs away, if I wanted to see 13 year old boobs I'd hang out by the Junior high like my dad like my dad does
Tom: Hey you know what I learned in fifth grade
Mark: What's that your dad has a bent weiner
Tom: My dad's weiner was bigger than mine then and still is
Mark: I want everyone here to scream, fuck you Tom,we fucking hate you you're going to burn in hell and die a horrible firery death cause' we hate you stupid pieces of shit
Tom: I heard that
Mark: Thanks
Tom: You want to give me your shirt, this smells like blood and feces, dinner time ok what does this say here
Mark: It smells like blood and feces, so it's your dad's shirt
Tom: Hey uh just like every other band we believe in a safe form of sex don't we Mark, that we do so Mark's going to tell you about how safe we are
Mark: Let me tell you about the safest form of sex, it's when you get super drunk and you have sex with like ten people totally unprotected and you do intravenous drugs at the same time, no it's not true
Tom: It's not true you have to carry a weapon. How many of you guys have girlfreinds and how many of your girlfriends have guy friends, I hope you're not having sex
Mark: And more importanly how many of your girlfriends have girlfriends
Tom: Cause' we believe in the love that exists between two vaginas
Mark: The most special kind of love of all is the love that exists between two naked women while I watch
Tom: We need her to put her shirt back on
Mark: Please
Tom: It just took away my boner, my boner just died, I had one and now it's gone
Mark: Please I saw your boobs and my wiener ran away. Hey hey hang on everyone everyone seriously I need your attention for just a second please, I think somebody lost a contact down here so everyone look around a contact lense hey someone lost a contact lense so uh...
Tom: I lost my virinity
Mark: Keep an I out for it
Tom: I lost a testacle, hey what if testacles were things you could lose on a everyday basis that would suck, you've only got three, hey I've got to go pee pee
Mark: Do you want to go pee and I'll talk to the kids for a second
Tom: Do you think you can talk for enough time
Mark: No uh uh
Tom: Why don't you gather your thoughts
Mark: Why don't you just wet your pants and we'll call it even
Tom: Should I just piss in my pants right here, if you guys all pitch in a dollar each I'll piss my pants right here now, that should pay me about two-hundred bucks maybe
Mark: I'll give you three-hundred dollars to piss your pants right now
Tom: I'll give you four-hundred bucks to eat my shit
Mark: Sold
Tom: Sold, apparently there's a kid that's hurt right now and I think they're helping them out right now, it looks like they're right there
Mark: Make a hole people make a hole
Tom: All you people over there make way for the hurt kid and bring me their wallet
Mark: I wish now you know let me tell you guys something...
Tom: I'm gay!
Mark: There's thousands and thousands of people here today there's like semis and fucking buses and multiple bands and all kinds of shit, I wish now I would have taken bass lessons, sorry sorry
Tom: So do I, I wish you did too
Mark: I'm thinking for Christmas this year I'm going to ask for lessons
Tom: I know a guy, he has sex with his sister, he used his dick to pop her four foot blister, and I know it's not that cool, he fucked her in my swimming pool, he's got three testacles, and he loves to do shit, fuck yea. Hey how come every time we say a joke it has to be about fucking sex masturbation insest, or anything grose like that you know
Mark: Is there anything else in the world
Tom: There's nothing else to talk about
Mark: Hey can you help that little girl out of there she's not having so much fun right now, hey
Tom: Uh exuse me, security guard sir
Mark: The one right in front of you, yea
Tom: Yea that girl right there needs to come out, if you're a small person the front is not the best view, and if you hate seeing shitty bands any of this is not a good view, this whole everything every seat here. Mark's middle name is Rebecca, they thought he was a...
Mark: That's right, my middle names Rebecca because my dad wanted a girl, he treats me like one
Tom: I still have to go pee and I'm holding it in still, I'll piss my pants though for money, I'll eat a nugget of my own poop for twenty bucks, I'll pay you twenty bucks and I'll eat it
Mark: You shave your ass
Tom: You have hair on nothing but your balls, Mark has no hair on his whole body but a fucking wolverine growning in his pants, I swear to God, it's got teeth and shit
Mark: It's true
Tom: He's got a scary looking penis
Mark: It's true I need your tax deductable donations for the shave Mark's balls program, please
Tom: It's for charity kids
Mark: Please send what you can, donate your time
Tom: You guys think that we're touring for our own, no this is a charity tour for Mark's balls
Mark: We're trying to raise enough money to shave my nuts, please give generously
Tom: There's no metal strong enough to be the teeth on any kind of electric shaver, what do we do now, oh I need a new guitar
Mark: We need a new guitar, we need a new guitarist, any one out there play guitar
Tom: Does anybody know how to play guitar cause' I'm not very good, people don't really respect me
Mark: If I were a girl, every time I went to the gynecologist, I'd fake an orgasm
Tom: Bad kids
Mark: Bad christmas spirit
Tom: Bad christmas spirit
Mark: Hey ok I need light now
Tom: We're going to point out every single person that didn't sing
Mark: Santa Claus is going to come to your house and shit under all your trees
Tom: Santa Claus is going to come rape your dogs, Oh God you know what I'm kind of ashamed of being myself today, and yesterday and the day before that, not really pround of who I am or how I look. Any one have one of those days were you don't even really like what you're wearing, you know, you don't like how your hair looks, and kind of bumed about how your penis is so small and bent and wierd. That is the ugliest but I have ever seen. Let's hear it for not wiping! And this guy fuck wiping dude, brings down the rain forest. Ok this is a song I wrote...
Mark: That guy has a science fair project up his ass
Tom: Uh what head's up seven up, everyone close your eyes and if I come by and if I come by and put my finger in you but than you're the one.
I think that Satan has a couple of comments:
Well kids it's been a really fun show, and I want you all to know that we'll come back soon, but before I go I want to say I think Tom is extemely good looking and all the girls out there should think he's good looking. Tom has one of the best butts that I've ever seen, shimi shimi coco puff shimi shimi right shimi shimi coco puff. Does anybody here want to sleep with me. I'm really a nice guy, it's really not Satan...
It's me it's not Satan let's all be happy he's not here say fuck Satan

Alright I'm out of jokes and out of songs, I think we're done.

139 reproducciones
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  1. All The Small Things
  2. I Miss You
  3. Up All Night
  4. Always
  5. Pretty Little Girl
  6. What's My Age Again?
  7. Adam's Song
  8. First Date
  9. Feeling This
  10. After Midnight
  11. Story Of a Girl
  12. Pathetic
  13. The Girl Next Door
  14. Stay Together For The Kids
  15. All Of This
  16. Voyeur
  17. Dammit
  18. Josie
  19. Sometimes
  20. The Party Song
  21. Wrecked Him
  22. The Rock Show
  23. 13 Miles
  24. Please Take Me Home
  25. Story Of A Lonely Guy
  26. Reckless Abandon
  27. Everytime I Look For You
  28. Anthem Part 2
  29. What Went Wrong?
  30. Rock Show
  31. My Boyfriend
  32. Stockholm Syndrome
  33. I'm Lost Without You
  34. Take Off Your Pants And Jacket
  35. When You Fucked Grandpa
  36. Down
  37. A Letter To Elise
  38. Hit Me Baby One More Time
  39. Angelica & Me
  40. So Sorry, It's Over
  41. This Is Home
  42. I Miss Her So
  43. I Feel So
  44. Boring
  45. Dick Lips
  46. Waggy
  47. Enthused
  48. Untitled
  49. Apple Shampoo
  50. Emo
  51. A New Hope
  52. Degenerate
  53. Lemmings
  54. I'm Sorry
  55. Carousel
  56. Fentoozler
  57. Touchdown Boy
  58. Strings
  59. Peggy Sue
  60. Does My Breath Smell?
  61. Cacophony
  62. TV
  63. Wasting Time
  64. Ben Wah Balls
  65. Just About Done
  66. Depends
  67. Dumpweed
  68. Don't Leave Me
  69. Aliens Exist
  70. Going Away To College
  71. Dysentery Gary
  72. Mutt
  73. Wendy Clear
  74. Anthem
  75. I Won't Be Home For Christmas
  76. Zulu
  77. Time
  1. Man Overboard
  2. Don't
  3. Toast & Bananas
  4. Reebok Commercial
  5. My Pet Sally
  6. Point Of View
  7. Romeo & Rebecca
  8. Family Reunion
  9. Blow Job
  10. Transvestite
  11. The Family Next Door
  12. Seasons In The Sun
  13. Happy Holidays
  14. Roller Coaster
  15. Give Me One Good Reason
  16. Time To Break Up
  17. Online Songs
  18. Happy Holidays, You Bastard
  19. Mother's Day
  20. Imbred Blister Popper
  21. Pants Cd Hidden Track (14)
  22. Fuck A Dog
  23. Hidden Track 14 (Orange Pants-Cd)
  24. Hidden Track 15 (Orange Pants-Cd)
  25. Hidden Track 14
  26. Hidden Track 15 (Jacket)
  27. Hidden Track (Australaisian Version)
  28. Don't Tell Me That It's Over
  29. Hold On (Hidden, Green)
  30. Grandpa (Hidden, Green)
  31. Dancing With Myself
  32. What's My Age Again ?
  33. The Longest Line
  34. High Road
  35. The Country Song
  36. Take Off Your Pants And Jacket (Live)
  37. 21 Days
  38. Why
  39. One Hit Wonder
  40. People, People, People
  41. One Hit Wonder + Dammit (Live From La)
  42. Freak Scene
  43. M&M's
  44. Phantom Of The Opera
  45. Go
  46. Violence
  47. Obvious
  48. Easy Target
  49. Not Now
  50. Asthenia
  51. Here's Your Letter
  52. Carousel (Live At Sydney 2000)
  53. Don't Take The High Road
  54. Dream Come True
  55. Green Hemroids
  56. Hoe
  57. One Hit Wonder + Dammit
  58. Pants Cd Hidden Track
  59. Take Off Your Pants And Jacket, Yellow Version, Hi
  60. Twenty Three
  61. Watch Your Back
  62. What's My Cult Again
  63. Good Times
  64. Hey Leonard
  65. M+M's
  66. Alone
  67. I'm Hot Tonight
  68. Mark's Poem
  69. Marlboro Man
  70. Passion Flounder
  71. Red Skies
  72. My Heart Will Go On (with Sum 41)
  73. Hope
  74. Yes, I'm Your Angel (John Lennon cover)
  75. Dragon Attack
  76. Dreaming
  77. Jesse (Australian Record)
  1. Words of Wisdom
  2. Another Girl Another Planet
  3. The Grandpa Song
  4. The New Punk Rock
  5. M+M's
  6. She Likes Me For Me
  7. Jenny 867-5309
  8. The Fallen Interlude
  9. Leaving On a Jet Plane
  10. T.V.
  11. Guy On The Playground
  12. Hanging out behind the skool for the weekend
  13. Internal Prodigy
  14. Kids Of The Black Hole
  15. Penis In A Bottle (Parody, Live In Concert)
  16. Skylee's With Me (Unreleased)
  17. The Hokey Pokey
  18. There Is
  19. I Know a Guy
  20. Shit Piss Fuck Cunt Cocksucker Motherfucker Tits
  21. Letters To God
  22. Shut Up
  23. Please Tell Me Why
  24. Hidden Track #03
  25. Niggers
  26. You Fucked Up My Life
  27. There Was a Time
  28. Guess
  29. Try To Tell Me
  30. Better
  31. Anymore
  32. Away
  33. I And You
  34. Mutt
  35. All The Young Dudes
  36. I Walk the Line
  37. Until The Stars Fall Out The Sky
  38. Until the Stars Fall Out the Sky
  39. My Boyfriend's Back
  40. Go On
  41. What´s My Age Again?
  42. M&M's
  43. M-Ms
  44. I Want To Fuck A Dog In The Ass
  45. Lost And Alone
  46. Action
  47. Strung Out
  48. My Heart Will Go On And On
  49. Heart's All Gone
  50. Ghost On The Dance Floor
  51. Snake Charmer
  52. Kaleidoscope
  53. Natives
  54. Wishing Well
  55. Love Is Dangerous
  56. Even If She Falls
  57. Whising Well
  58. Fighting The Gravity
  59. Mh 4.18.2011
  60. Nativos
  61. Deadman's Curve
  62. Toast And Bananas
  63. M&M's
  64. In Transit
  65. I'm Gay
  66. Love Shack
  67. Boxing Day
  68. Disaster
  69. When I Was Young
  70. Dogs Eating Dogs
  71. Last Words From Satan
  72. My Boner Just Died
  73. Princess Leia
  74. Party Song
  75. A Note From Your Mom
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