Disequilibrium

If you look thru me
You won't be able to decide
Which staining has gone blind my eyes
If you turn away
You won't able to read the clues
It's useless to love me
Dreamless with chaotic thoughts in my head
I can't stop the pain with eleven pills
Tear the pictures I drawn with scorn
Sticking dirges on the sperm-stained wall
Barren words of advice not to love me
That way I'd have deserve
You trade on my credulity to stop me from getting the better of you
I appear in your dreams
Only to advise you to push me to the back of your mind
I take your hand and lead you to the light
To keep the feelings under that coerce you into whispering foolish words to me
That coerce me into hurting you
Dreamless with chaotic thoughts in my head
I can't stop the pain with eleven pills
Tear the pictures I drawn with scorn
Sticking dirges on the sperm-stained wall
Barren words of advice not to love me
That way I'd have deserve
You trade on my credulity to stop me from getting the better of you
Am I to come undone to leave you behind
So I can pore over in silence
Which tools enable you to cut your arms with the aid of a dull-edged knife?
Am I to watch the tears that carry you off into the bowels of despair
If there's no sense to trust in me?
Dreamless with chaotic thoughts in my head
I can't stop the pain with eleven pills
Tear the pictures I drawn with scorn
Sticking dirges on the sperm-stained wall
Barren words of advice not to love me
That way I'd have deserve
You trade on my credulity to stop me from getting the better of you