Last Asshole On Earth

i locked my doors and waited for the world to end
i watched the clock tick down, by candlelight all safe and sound alone
until i thought that it was safe outside again
but all my plans were laid to waste, it was just another new years after all
the birds were singing in the air
and i was crying on my knees
it was selfish to want everybody else to die
but i know we were meant to be

i know you said that you would never talk to me again
but i thought that this could work
because you told me that you'd never take me back
unless i were the last asshole on earth

sometimes i think if only i were old again
if only i recalled all things we knew when we knew everything
you're out tonight, and i'm at home alone again
you needed time apart but watching you fuck half the town just breaks my heart
sitting in my room constructing atom bombs
'cause there's nothing i can do
i don't really care if i kill off mankind
if that means i can be with you