Eddie

He could have been a contender
But Eddie never said no to a bender
And after he had downed his thirteenth Scotch
He was a man to watch
Yeah

Oh yes he had the cunning
But drink had kept him out of the running
And on the nights when he mixed his rum with gin
There was no stopping him
No

He's a brute
So hirsute
Nose and teeth
Battered
Scattered

Legs and thighs
Oversize
A boxer you'd guess
And you're probably right
Oh Eddie could fight
'Specially when he was tight
Which happened every night

Oh Eddie loved his kid sister
So much he made sure nobody kissed her
So when he happened upon her with a man
The shit hit the fan
Yeah

His big hands
Grabbed that man
By the neck
Took him
Shook him

Nadine screamed
Don't be mean
You'll kill him and Eddie
Said you're probably right
Oh Eddie could fight
'Specially when he was tight
Which happened every night

Kill him, Eddie!

The man went down
Hit the ground
Nadine said
Steady
Eddie

Eddie swore
Fucking whore
And charged his sister
Like a wild boar

Just in time
From behind
A bottle came down
Shattered
Spattered

Like a light
In the night
Eddie's faded but
His sister's alright
Oh Eddie could fight
But he's not fighting tonight
'Cause he's out like a light

And Nadine she's alright
Different lover each night
Eddie's nowhere in sight
'Cause he's all out of fight