Supermodel's Legs

This morning, it occurred to me
I might not look quite like a natural blonde
And I can't help but feel conned

The picture on the package showed a model with no baggage
Promising wild sex and marriage
With a big color chart wand

This morning, it occurred to me
I never will quite have a supermodel's legs (never in a million years)
Unless I cut each one in half

Become half an octopus
Or to become synonymous with cocaine
Glamour, riches, beauty and crack

I took a trip to the national gallery for
There was something more refreshing in what Ruben saw

My supermodel's legs
Think they were plucked
From a rubenesque world
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)

My supermodel's legs
Look pretty crap on a
Five foot four girl
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)

Oh, women, men and in-betweens
Why don't you just stop dieting?
Go bake, eat cake, go cheer
Drink beer, worrying is b-boring

If people said: Eat loads of cake
You wouldn't want much anyway
And then you wouldn't stuff your face
And look like king Henry the 8th

Present, we're told off every day
For living our lives the wrong damn way
Suck my leg, what's wrong? I say
If I want six coffees a day

Oh, women, men and in-betweens
Why don't you just stop dieting?
Go bake, eat cake, go cheer
Drink beer, worrying is boring me

Oh, I get more turned on by
Pink cupcakes and heroin
Not rock 'n' roll
I'm much more Mary Poppins

Oh, supermodel's legs
They never held up much weight
In my world (ooh, ah, ooh, ah)
(Ooh, ah, ooh, ah)

Oh, supermodel's legs
'Cause women should be women
Girls should be allowed to be girls
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)