Lonesome Cowboy Burt

My name is Burtram
I am a redneck
All my friends,
They call me Burt
(Hi, Burt!)
All my family from down in Texas
Make their live diggin' dirt

Come out here to Californy
Just to find me some pretty girls
The ones I seen gets me so horny
Ruby lips and teeth like pearls

Wanna love 'em all
Wanna love 'em dearly
Wanna pretty girl
I'll even pay
I'll buy 'em furs
I'll buy 'em jewelry
I know they like me
Here's what I say

I'm lonesome cowboy Burt
(Speakin' atcha!)
Come smell my fringey shirt
(Reekin' atcha!)
My cowboy pants
My cowboy dance
My bold advance
On this here waitress

He's lonesome cowboy Burt
Don't you get his feelings hurt
Come on in this place
And I'll buy you a taste
You can sit on my face
Where's my waitress?

Burtram
Burtram redneck
Burtram
Burtram redneck

I'm an awful nice guy
Sweat all day in the sun
Roofer by trade
Quite a bundle I've made
I'm a unionized roofin' old Son-of-a-gun
He's a unionized roofin' old son-of-a-gun

When I get off, I get plastered
Drink till I fall onna floor
Find me some Communist bastard
'N stomp on his face till he don't move no more
He stomps on his face till he don't move no more

I fuss an' I cuss an' I keep on drinkin'
Till my eyes puff up an' turn red
I drool on my shirt
I see if he's hurt
Kick him again in the head, yes!
Kick him again in the head, boys!
Kick him again in the head, now!
Kick him again in the head!

Lonesome cowboy Burt
(Speakin' atcha!)
Come smell my fringey shirt
(Reekin' atcha!)
My cowboy pants
My cowboy dance
My bold advance
On this here waitress

He's lonesome cowboy Burt
Ah don't you get his feelings hurt
Come on in this place
And I'll buy you a taste
And you can sit on my face
Where's my waitress

Opal, you hot little bitch!