Friend Like Me

Well, Ali Baba had them forty thieves
Scheherazade had a thousand tales
But master you're in luck, 'cause up your sleeves
You've got a brand of magic never fails

You've got some power in your corner now!
Some heavy ammunition in your camp!
You got some punch, pizzaz, yahoo and how
See, all you gotta do is rub that lamp, and I'll say:

"Mr. Aladdin, sir, what will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, jot it down?"
You ain't never had friend like me
Life is your restaurant and I'm your maitre'd
Come on whisper what it is you want
You ain't never had friend like me!

Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service
You're the boss, the king, the shah
Say what you wish; it's yours, true dish
How 'bout a little more baklava?
Have some of column A try All of column B
I'm in the mood to help you, dude
You ain't never had friend like me

Oh my. No no. My my my
Can your friends do this?
Can your friends do that?
Can your friends pull this
Out their little hat?
Can your friends go poof?

So don't just sit there slack-jawed, buggy-eyed
I'm here to answer all your mid-day prayers
You've got me bona fide certified
You've got a genie for charge d'affaires

I've got a powerful urge to help you out
So what you wish, I really wanna know?
You've got a list that's three miles long, no doubt
Well all you've gotta do is rub like so, and oh ­

Mr. Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three
I'm on the job you big nabob!
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never had a friend like me
You ain't never had a friend like me